I Want To Save You
by WP
Summary: Set after 'Same Time, Same Place' It's a Buffy Willow moment


AN: ok, this is set after same time, same place so season 6 and 7 spoilers. It's basically me having to vent over Tara lol. so if u like it good. :)   
  
  
I Want To Save You  
  
  
Willow nodded, "wow, It's dark out."   
  
Buffy finally looked around. "Well that's just weird. Did the energy help?" She motioned to Willow's heavily bandaged stomach, "with the new skin thing?"  
  
Willow focusd on the previous tender spot and found it no longer hurt. Carefully peeling away the bandage it revelled a slightly red but otherwise fine stomach, no open wound.   
  
Buffy grunted, "amazing what a little help from slayer abilities will do."   
  
Willow disagreed, "amazing what a little help from a friend will do."  
  
Buffy smiled and sqeezed Willow's hand.   
  
"So, are you wiped? Or do you want some food?" Buffy asked.  
  
Willow shrugged, "I think I'm ok, thanks."  
  
Buffy nodded and let her gaze fall on her friends sock clad foot.   
  
They both knew they had to talk about the events of the summer, of there time apart but neither knew how to start or rather where to start.  
  
Willow fidgitted nervously, how was she meant to hit out with, 'hey, sorry I killed a guy and almost killed you, your sister and oh yeah, the whole world.' Taking a deep breath she forced herself to start.  
  
"I'm sorry." They looked up in shock as they realised the apology was echoed by the other.  
  
"Buffy, why? You done nothing wrong, not like me. I should be grovelling at your feet begging for some form of verbal abuse nevermind forgivness! I killed Buffy, I hurt the people I love, I've been doing that for so long now and I don't deserve this." Willow babbled.  
  
Buffy felt her emotions building up but couldn't let them get the better of her.   
  
"Will, what happened... I don't blame you. I mean... there were circumstances, and you lost control... for probably the most forgivable reason. And we're all ok. Almost." Buffy said trying to reassure her best friend.  
  
Willow burst in. "No! Buffy I tried to destroy the world! Grieving is normally crying, screaming, getting angry, getting drunk and then dealing! I tried to kill the most important people in my life, and that haunts me every minute!" Willow was now pacing the length of the bed.   
  
"Do you want me to blame you? Would that make you feel better?" Buffy asked  
  
"I don't want to feel better! I want... I feel like I should be punished for what I've done! I've spent 2 months thinking i was going to be taken to some medievil torture chamber and locked up. Instead they taught me magicks and gave me knowledge of the earth! Then I get sent back to the place I dread, thinking that my best friends wouldn't want to see me. Would have wished I was locked up somewhere in England and I spent all of yesterday thinking that was true. But you don't blame me, your not pissed off at me and I can't understand why!" Willow stopped infront of Buffy with tears streaming down her cheeks.  
  
Buffy stood up, "Because I love you and I know that you would never normally hurt anyone! Underneath the power and the adult exterior I know you're the same babling, shy, geek I first met, you just cover it better and all I want to do is be here for you, help you through."   
  
"I'm so scared." Willow admitted.  
  
Buffy led her heartbroken friend back to the bed and sat next to her, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.   
  
"You have nothing to be scared of, Will." Buffy said looking her straight in the eye.  
  
"I do... What if I lose myself again? Buffy... It was the worst feeling. I was lost inside my mind. the evil crept into every cell. The grief drowned me and the pain from this world drove me insane."  
  
Buffy stopped her trembling lip. Giles had said something once but never explained. When Willow took the powers from him she felt the pain of the world. That's what made her go over the edge and raise the satanic temple.   
  
To think of Willow feeling so much killed her. With how much she loved Tara, Buffy knew it had to be a trillion times worse than the way she felt when Angel left.   
  
Buffy again gripped Willow's hand "You've survived it so far, Will. You're strong and you've beat it. You can't live with what if's. Xander and I will always be here to keep you safe and you'll have Dawn and Anya to make you insane. No pain required." She joked but quickly moved on realising it wasn't the time. "Will, look at me." Buffy waited until she did. "It might not be easy, this being the hell mouth but you'll be ok, I promise."  
  
Willow wanted so much to believe the slayer and fall into the comforting embrace only a best friend could give but the thing that was really hurting her was yet to be brought up.   
  
Swallowing back the lump in her throat she spoke about the true cause of her fear.   
  
"I'm scared I can't live without... her."  
  
The slayer sighed, finally they were on to the real reason of Willow's pain and suffering, her soulmates untimely death.  
  
"You'll make it, Will. You'll make it because she'd want you to. And because we're all here to help you through."  
  
Buffy could tell by the look in Willow's eyes she was asking, "will you?"  
  
Buffy let her guilt take over.  
  
"I knew I should never have let you go to England... I begged Giles to let you stay but he kept telling me you needed to learn where you're magick comes from but I shouldn't have cared about magick. You lost Tara... I can't imagine how that must feel and I wasn't there when you needed me most."  
  
Willow as more upset as she watched Buffy spill and the tears leaving her eyes. "I needed to go there..." She whispered. "I wanted to give up... I tried to but i was as useless at that as I am at everything else. All that kept me going was you, Xander and Dawnie."   
  
The slayer threw her arms around the red head and held her tight.  
  
"You're not useless. We were half a family without you." She said stroaking Willow's hair.  
  
The witch finally let go and let her sobs go. "I miss her so much."  
  
Buffy rocked her hysterical friend, "I know..." She kissed her head. "It''ll be ok, Will." She promised. 


End file.
